When I began living a spiritual life, I knew that I’d have to get comfortable with mystery. What I didn’t know was that there was a part of myself that would be the biggest mystery of all—my subconscious.
According to Merriam-Webster, the subconscious is what “exist[s] in the mind but [is] not immediately available to consciousness.” Psychology Today staff use the word unconscious and describe it as “the vast sum of operations of the mind that take place below the level of conscious awareness.”
Whatever you call it, in the spiritual life, the subconscious is an absolute gold mine for transformation. It is in the subconscious where we can discover the beliefs, fears, and dreams that guide our actions to create our lives. And when we discover what those beliefs, fears, and dreams are, we can then decide if we want to continue to buy into them or to let them go.
One of my earliest experiences with releasing something in my subconscious came when my son was 3 years old and still not sleeping through the night. I was attending a class on spirituality and felt uncomfortable the entire night.
I knew there was something just below the surface that needed my attention, but I could not figure out what it was. My classmates and the class facilitators did their best to support me, but it just wouldn’t come.
I left the class and got into my car, but before I could turn the key, I knew what it was that was lurking beneath the surface that I no longer wanted in my life—fear. It was an old fear from childhood about what was in the dark, and I knew I needed to be free of it.
I went back into the classroom, where the facilitators and a few of my classmates were, and I told them it was fear that was lurking beneath the surface and that I didn’t want to take it home with me.
They sprung into action—putting me in the middle of a prayer circle, speaking truth and somehow helping me release the fear. I felt so transformed that when I got home, I took a shower as a kind of baptism, a ritual cleansing of what had been and no longer was.
That night my son and I both slept through the night, which had literally never happened since he had been born. He slept through the next night as well, and after the third night of uninterrupted rest, my husband asked, “What do you think has happened?”
Even though it didn’t seem possible to me at the time, I knew that because I had released my fear of the terrors of the dark, my son had been freed as well.
Since then, I have consciously chosen to explore my subconscious and as a result have discovered and released the fears that kept me from acting on my deepest desires, the reasons I stayed in relationships that were no longer good for me, and the teachings and beliefs that made me think less of myself than I deserved.
Discovering what is in your subconscious can be deep spiritual work and requires willingness and compassionate self-awareness.
Often, emotional pain has accompanied my discoveries, including regret, resentment, and grief. If you are going to explore your subconscious beliefs, please do it gently and make sure you have support to help you move through the process.
To explore your subconscious, try working from the outside in. Listen to the words that you say. No matter how “casual” you think your conversation is, the words you use are a reflection of your inner beliefs, especially if they feel incongruent with your conscious thoughts and beliefs.
For example, I think of myself as a loving person, but whenever a certain relative came up in conversation, I became the meanest, most judgmental person in the world.
Hearing myself say things that I would never say about anyone else prompted me to explore what was underneath my words. I discovered a jealousy and resentment left over from childhood that stemmed from the subconscious idea that boys mattered more than girls, an idea another relative of mine fully believed in and lived from.
Consciously, I did not believe that boys mattered more than girls, but I could see where this subconscious belief had impacted how I devalued myself in the past. Releasing it supported me in recognizing and celebrating my own value and that of girls and women everywhere.
Another way to discover what is in your subconscious is to look at the circumstances of your life and ask, “What thoughts or beliefs must I be holding for this to be my reality?”
Asking this question helped me discover that not everything in my subconscious is negative or holding me back. Wondering why I had so many amazing friends in my life, for example, helped me discover the subconscious value I put on friendship and explained why I was willing and able to make time for my friendships.
Finally, consider working with a professional to discover what your subconscious may be holding on to. The right therapist or spiritual companion can support you in discovering and healing traumatic experiences that may be affecting your life today and help you unlock the mystery of yourself, a mystery definitely worth exploring.
What are your thoughts on the subconscious? Is it something you're willing to explore? Or have you already unlocked a bit of the mystery of you? Let me know in the comments!
Resources
For an excellent explanation of the basics of the subconscious mind, check out this article from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/unconscious
If you need some tips to help you find a therapist, check out https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-find-a-therapist#bottom-line
To find a Certified Spiritual Companion, visit https://www.sdicompanions.org/find-a-spiritual-director-companion/
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